Life hack: pause and say “you can show yourself now” every time you’re about to leave an apparently empty room. Some day there might actually be someone there, and they’ll be really impressed.
so my boyfriend and i were watching monster factory the other day, and one thing leads to another, and we’re making out, right
and as it turns out we forgot to pause the video bc we separated for a second and looked at each other
there was a moment of silence
and then the room is flooded with the sound of griffin mcelroy exclaiming
I THINK THOSE TWO PEOPLE ARE ABOUT TO HAVE SEX
and according to my boyfriend, that was the fastest they’ve ever seen me move bc as soon as that moment was over i was across the room turning off that video because that was the most utterly visceral deer in the headlights moment i’ve ever experienced and it will forever be screaming unerringly in the back of my mind the moment a single molecule of my body even considers the concept of sex i fuckign HATE griffin mcelro
Keep in mind, it’s not a batam chicken, it has some birth defect that makes it smaller than an average small chicken, we think. I don’t know. We didn’t expect this.
This is Cicero.
We thought Cicero was a rooster, mostly from fear of him being a hen and trying to lay an egg, only to end up egg bound.
Well, today we learned that Cicero the Rooster is actually Cicero the Hen.
AND LOOK
AT WHAT
SHE LAID
A TINY EGG.
I’VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT.
IF WE HATCH IT WOULD A TINIER CHICKEN BE HATCHED??
WILL IT CONTINUE UNTIL WE HAVE THE SMALLEST CHICKEN IN THE WORLD??
WHY DID MY SISTER NAME THE CHICKEN AFTER HER MATH TEACHER??
i once heard a scientist in a documentary about evolution refer to the human spine as an “architectural nightmare” and then procede to explain why every back is a bad back. it was so validating.
